Pushing boundaries: or Orgasm Denial and how I am the luckiest girl ever…

A few days ago Sir instructed me to DP (double penetrate) myself and fuck myself silly. Well, I presumed that meant to completion/orgasm. I was wrong. So, for being a presumptive girl (which I can be on occasion) Sir instructed me to masturbate three times per day bringing myself to the edge of orgasm but not to cum. While I LOVE orgasm denial, orgasm denial over a two day period combined with masturbation is more than a bit like an exquisite, erotic torture. I suggested that He needed to observe (via FaceTime) at least one of these sessions and He declared that I should invite some friends.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I am WAY more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist. Not to mention I am COMPLETELY clueless when it comes to flirting or when someone is flirting with me etc. Sir has been trying to get me to push this boundary…gently but firmly. Not that I am not open to playing with others sexually it is just that it is way outside of my comfort zone…and I am sort of wired to expect rejection. So as a result I tend to not put myself out there because rejection hurts. I have sort of been holding out for a time when W/we could explore this together with Him taking the lead.

My other concern in this area is actually based on triggers from previous relationships. Most men have the fantasy of bringing in another woman but few have the maturity to handle the reality of it. I have seen things like this destroy relationships. Sir, however, gets off on the taboo of having His partner recount, in detail, their escapades with someone else. W/we have discussed, in detail, some of the things that W/we would like to do together that involve other people etc. So it wasn’t that I did not trust Sir…I was simply still trying to deal with past baggage. I would never do anything to intentionally jeopardize my relationship with Sir or His trust in me.

Sir got irritated with me and my concerns, which He felt were simply excuses at this point. When Sir gets irritated with me or disappointed in me it is horrible. I genuinely suffer for it. So, I made a last minute decision to attend the multi munch picnic which happened to be just down the road from where I live and see if I could not resolve some of the logistical issues I had presented to Sir along with my own reticence to put myself out there. I have been on a self imposed hiatus (with Sir’s complete approval) from the local community for the last year or so for my personal emotional well-being. This also made my task a little more challenging.

However, the universe blessed me because two of my dearest friends showed up at the picnic. I was telling them about my dilemma and they agreed to help me out. Ever so helpful they are 😉 So I messaged Sir and awaited His response. He agreed, negotiations were completed and a time set for later that day. We were able to include Sir via FaceTime which was very nice for me because I got to hear His voice and He got to see all the fun. I did not realize how much I truly missed intimate time with a woman until this past weekend and now that this hurdle has been cleared I have another task I am looking very forward to completing as it benefits me as well as Sir. While Sir and I are not poly per se I am allowed/encouraged to enjoy the company of other women. So, while I still suck at flirting, I will be more actively looking for a female to share some intimate time with.

I may be the luckiest girl on the face of the planet. I love You Sir.

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I dare You…

I don’t know who the original author of this is but it rolled back around to me today so I thought I would share. The message is speaking loudly to me today. I hope you enjoy…

I dare you to leap. Fully. Wildly. Into the light. Into the unknown. Into the magic that you cannot yet see. I dare you to trust. To believe that unseen spaces hold so much power. Potential. Imagination. I dare you to walk into that mighty cave of possibility. We dream up wonders. We dream up fears. Terrific pains that tell us to stay safe. Comfortable. Away from harm. I dare you to remember the truth. The truth that the future is a creative process, not a heavy weight you must bow to. I dare you to entertain that you are more than your resistance. You are the dream unfurling into the moment. I dare you to know yourself as such.

I dare you to stretch. A little more. Decadently into the direction of the calling of your heart. I dare you to let go of the things you think you are meant to do. Promises held over from another time and place. There is only now. Only the the desires that shine brightly and purely from the inside out. Unleash them and feel the flow carry you. I dare you to step into yourself in a whole new way. Your way. The way. And as you do, I dare you to let yourself be seen. Be loved. Be adored. I dare you to extend that same courtesy to yourself and shower yourself in delicious adoration for all that you are, all that you do, all that you are creating.

I dare you to speak your mind. To be seen. To share your message. Your wisdom. Your essence. I dare you to take a chance. To risk failure. To stop waiting for things to come round right and embrace the transcendent imperfections every opportunity offers. I dare you to slow down. Notice the moment. Listen deeply to what your soul has to say. I dare you to connect to the divine, to find it outside of your head and deep in your being. To spread that connection all over the globe.

I dare you to be brave. Courageous. When the world feels topsy turvy. When the aches and pains tell you to shut up…to go back to the small ways. I dare you find the fortitude within yourself and break down the walls of perception. I dare you to let yourself off the hook. Offer forgiveness to the judgments that press against the flow of your natural radiance. I dare you to sit in silence. To stop spinning fairy tales. To love yourself for all the things that you have judged yourself for.

I dare you to seek pleasure. Find love. Lean into the wind and go where adventure calls. I dare you to write. Paint. Create. I dare you to dance. To play. To scream out in ecstasy. Or moan with delight. I dare you laugh at nothing at all. You are the catalyst for tremendous bliss. You. Enjoy that. Enjoy yourself. Your authority. I dare you to revel in your own magnificence. Pour glitter over every ounce of your being and shimmyshake your way to the best time ever. I dare you to sing wildly. Loudly. Terribly.

I dare you to leap. leap. leap. Into the arms of life!

I dare you.

Touch…

Touch.

Human touch.

There is nothing like it.

Touch, for me, is not a means to an end. Touch is about communication. Touch should be mindful. Touch is about transfer of energy. Touch is about pouring every ounce of emotion, energy, love into that moment.

The gentle touch of His hand on my face.

The protective touch of His hand at the small of my back when guiding me through a crowd.

The touch of His hands around my throat as He growls *mine* under His breath in my ear.

The touch of the flat of His hand on my ass when He spanks me.

The touch of His lips on my fingertips while riding in the car.

…for me, there is nothing so powerful as His touch, in all it’s forms. I crave His touch like an addict craves the object of their addiction. His touch claims me and sets me free.

By the numbers…

11,626 days since that infamous NYE all those years ago. I could not believe You called me…that You were even interested in me.

1,884 days since I laid eyes on You for the first time since high school and only three days later I had to say good bye to You. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I cried all the way home.

628 days since the most surreal dinner of my life. I have never been so happy to see someone in my entire life.

427 days since the day I became my own woman again. You played a very important part in helping me to find myself again. I will be forever grateful to You.

370 days ago we made love for the first time. It was passionate, funny and sweet. I would not trade it for anything in the world.

260 days since You met me at the airport in Hawaii. I can not thank You enough for a lovely five days in paradise. It was such a privilege to visit Pearl Harbor with You.

80 days ago You gifted me with Your collar. I have no words to express the depth of my love for You and the honor I feel at having been chosen by You.

4 more days until the next step in O/our lives begins.

21 days 21 hrs 47 mins until I am in Your arms again where I belong. Home.

10 nights W/we will have together, wrapped in each other’s arms.

10 mornings W/we will be able to wake up together.

I love You more than You will ever know.

My life, O/our life by the numbers.

ISFJ…

PERSONALITY: ISFJ

VARIANT: ASSERTIVE

ROLE: SENTINEL

You are one of the Sentinels – a reliable and dedicated individual who respects traditions and prizes responsibility. You are known for your caring nature, attention to detail and quiet dedication. Below you will find a brief overview of your personality traits – proceed to the type overview to learn much more about your personality type. Prepare to be impressed.

Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.

The ISFJ personality type is a unique group, in that many of their qualities often defy the definition of their individual personality traits. Though they possess the Feeling (F) trait, ISFJs have excellent analytical abilities; though they are Introverted (I), they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and even though they are a Judging (J) type, as are all Sentinels (SJ), ISFJs are often receptive to change and new ideas. As with so many things, ISFJs are more than the sum of their parts, and it is the way they use these strengths that defines who they are.

ISFJs are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity – there’s hardly a better type to make up such a large proportion of the population, nearly 13%. Combining the best of tradition and a desire to do good things, ISFJs can often be found in lines of work with a sense of history behind them, such as medicine, academics and charitable social work. However, they are unlikely to seek out managerial positions in these fields, and are still more unlikely to brag about their accomplishments – ISFJs prefer to be rewarded by seeing first-hand the positive impact of their efforts, and will remain enthusiastic simply knowing that what they do is genuinely appreciated by the people they care for.

This personal style is reflected in ISFJs’ preference for working in small, tight-knit groups, with as little friction as possible in the employer-employee relationship. If the employer is too brusque, especially when it comes to changing the rules unannounced, ISFJs will find themselves stressed and unhappy – they need time to prepare for change and new ideas, and while they are perfectly capable embracing such things, it’s important for a new approach to pass ISFJs’ moral filter. If a new idea trespasses on their principles, ISFJs will fight strongly for the traditional approach or existing norms and procedures.

ISFJs are often meticulous to the point of perfectionistic, and while they may sometimes procrastinate, if the rules are known, they can always be relied on to get the job done on time – ISFJs take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond and doing everything they can to exceed expectations and delight others, whether at work or at home. The challenge for ISFJs is ensuring that what they do is noticed – they have a tendency to underplay their accomplishments, and while their kindness is often respected, more cynical and selfish people are likely to take advantage of ISFJs’ dedication and humbleness by pushing work onto them and then taking the credit. ISFJs need to know when to say when and stand up for themselves if they are to maintain their confidence and enthusiasm.

Naturally social, an odd quality given that they are Introverted, ISFJs utilize an excellent memory not to retain data and trivia, but to remember people and details about their lives. When it comes to gift-giving, ISFJs have no equal, using their imagination and natural sensitivity to express their generosity in a way that will always touch the hearts of their recipients. While this is certainly true of their coworkers, whom ISFJs consider their personal friends more often than not, it is in family that their expression of affection blooms fully.

Though passionate about their work, home is where the heart is for ISFJs, and they take no greater pleasure than in being available for the people they love most. Here, ISFJs’ kindness goes beyond the mere exchange of gifts for gratitude, and into the joy that is found in truly taking care of another person’s needs, in being there for emotional and practical support whenever it’s needed. ISFJs may sometimes believe that they are doing this for their own benefit, but in reality it is a true expression of selflessness.

The trouble is, not everyone is prepared to receive the benefit of ISFJs’ kindness. Some personality types, especially the more independent ones such as INTJs, will find the emotional availability and attention that ISFJs offer up to be cloying or overbearing. Not everyone shares the same sensitivities and philosophies as ISFJs, and it’s important for them to not be put out when someone questions their kindness.

ISFJs are a wonderful group, rarely sitting idle while a worthy cause remains unfinished. ISFJs’ ability to connect with others on an intimate level is unrivaled among Introverts, and the joy they experience from using those connections to maintain a supportive, happy family is a gift for everyone involved. They may never be truly comfortable in the spotlight, and may feel guilty taking due credit for a team effort, but if they can find a way to ensure that their efforts are recognized, both in the workplace and at home, ISFJs are likely to feel a level of satisfaction in what they do that many other personality types can only dream of.

Famous ISFJs: Queen Elizabeth II, Robert E. Lee, Queen Mary I, Halle Berry, Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings) and Dr. Watson (Sherlock Holmes)

ISFJ STRENGTHS

  • Very supportive. ISFJs are always willing to help other people, sharing their knowledge and experience with their colleagues, classmates, or friends. People with this personality type strive for win-win situations, choosing empathy over judgment wherever possible.
  • Enthusiastic. ISFJ personalities want to make a difference and are willing to spend a lot of time and effort fighting for or contributing to a worthy cause. It does not really matter if that is a simple task or a global initiative; the ISFJ will jump right in if the idea is aligned with their goals.
  • Loyal and hard-working. ISFJs are very loyal and often get emotionally attached to a specific idea or a company. They will work very hard and do everything they can to meet their obligations.
  • Imaginative and observant. People with the ISFJ personality type have their feet firmly planted on the ground, but they are also very imaginative, especially if something fascinates and inspires them. Furthermore, ISFJs also tend to be very observant individuals, able to pick up the smallest cues, especially when it comes to someone else’s emotional state.
  • Reliable and patient. ISFJs are meticulous and careful individuals, always making sure that their work is completed to the highest standard and sometimes even going beyond what is required.
  • Good practical skills. ISFJ personalities have no difficulties handling practical tasks. Their sense of beauty and harmony is unmatched, and they do not shy away from mundane, routine tasks. Not surprisingly, ISFJs are great family people, always able and willing to take care of their loved ones.

ISFJ WEAKNESSES

  • Humble and shy. ISFJs are often reluctant to say what they truly think or present their achievements, especially in a competitive environment. This can hinder their career progress and cause frustration and disappointment.
  • Overload themselves. ISFJs’ perfectionism, combined with their strong sense of duty, often pushes them to take on too much work—and as already discussed above, ISFJs always want to make sure that everything is completed perfectly. Not surprisingly, this can cause a lot of stress and anxiety for an ISFJ, especially if other people abuse their good nature.
  • Take many things too personally. ISFJs are very sensitive to conflict and criticism, taking critical comments very personally. They may also have difficulties separating their professional and personal lives, allowing their worries about work to affect everything else.
  • Reluctant to change. ISFJ personalities value traditions very highly and may be unwilling to try out new things or change their habits, even when that would make sense from the rational perspective.
  • Too altruistic. ISFJs tend to be very good-natured, warm individuals and they are likely to find it difficult to refuse requests for help. Unfortunately, this often results in the ISFJ getting overloaded with other people’s work or problems.
  • Repress their feelings. People with this personality type are private and even somewhat shy. Not surprisingly, they tend to repress their feelings instead of expressing them in a healthy way. This in turn increases their stress levels and can cause a lot of frustration further down the road.

ISFJ RELATIONSHIPS

ISFJs are very committed to keeping their long-term relationships at the highest possible level and being responsible while dating. People with this personality type usually have very strong feelings, but they tend to hide them from the outside world, unless there is a very good reason to open up, which is why these feelings may not always be obvious to other people. Anyone dating an ISFJ should keep this mind; more than likely, their shell is hiding some very strong feelings.

The intensity of these feelings means that romantic relationships are a very high priority for ISFJs, and they may sometimes even place them on the same shelf as religious feelings. Consequently, ISFJ personalities take dating very seriously as well. ISFJs seek long-term relationships, and it is safe to say that they are very likely to remain faithful to their partners until the last day of their life.

Looking from the sexual perspective, ISFJs see intimacy as a very important aspect of every romantic relationship. They tend to be very good at expressing their feelings through physical actions, paying a lot of attention to satisfying their partner’s needs. ISFJs are also likely to see sexual acts as a duty rather than a source of pleasure—but they will truly enjoy them. People with this personality type rarely verbalize their feelings of love and affection, so intimacy is a great way for them to express these emotions.

An ISFJ can spend an enormous amount of time and energy making sure that their partner is happy; there is nothing more pleasant to an ISFJ than being appreciated by their other half. The same thing can be said about their dating or romantic relationships in general: the best gift that someone can give to an ISFJ is lots of love and appreciation.

An ISFJ is also likely to be very altruistic and perceptive of other people’s needs. However, people with this personality type should ensure that such a trait of theirs does not lead to abuse, especially while dating. It is important for ISFJs to pay some attention to their own dreams and desires as well, instead of spending all their energy on fulfilling others’ needs. Anyone dating an ISFJ should also keep this in mind.

ISFJs are likely to find it difficult to deal with criticism or tense situations. People with this personality type are known for their tendency to accumulate their anger and then unleash it in an all-out verbal attack, saying words that they are very likely to regret later.

ISFJs, generally speaking, are very family-oriented individuals, paying a lot of attention to their partner and other family members. They are perfectly suited to take care of everyday needs, and they take pleasure in caring for other people. Anyone dating an ISFJ should remember that the best ISFJ traits always come out later in the relationship—and this is one of the examples. An ISFJ is likely to invest a lot of time and effort in the romantic relationship and is likely to be a trustworthy, loyal, and loving partner.

Preferred partners: ESFP and ESTP types, as their Extraversion (E) and Prospecting (P) traits counterbalance ISFJs’ Introversion (I) and Judging (J) traits.

ISFJ FRIENDS

ISFJ friends are extraordinarily warm, altruistic, and loyal. They are not too choosy when it comes to friendships with other personality types, as long as the other person is willing to connect with them on a deeper level. ISFJ personalities tend to rely on their friends for emotional support, advice, and reassurance. This makes them somewhat vulnerable but also gives both individuals a chance to form a very deep, strong friendship.

That being said, ISFJs may encounter a couple issues when it comes to friendships. First of all, people with this personality type tend to put the needs of their friends above their own. While this is not necessarily a bad thing (provided that those friends do not abuse the ISFJ’s altruism), such an approach may push the ISFJ to neglect their own needs. ISFJs are likely to need a lot of emotional support, and if this support is not forthcoming from friends whom they have helped, the ISFJ may be very hurt.

Second, ISFJ friends stick to their commitments and do their best to fulfill their promises. This is a great trait, but it is accompanied by the ISFJ’s tendency to avoid saying “no” in fear of upsetting their friends. Some people may see this as a weakness and try to abuse the ISFJ’s goodwill, so people with this personality type should keep this trait in check.

ISFJ personalities are Introverted (I), and it may not be easy to get them to open up; however, they do need to have several close friends with whom they can discuss important matters. It is unlikely that an ISFJ will become close friends with someone who has strongly expressed Thinking (T) or Prospecting (P) traits; they prefer the company of Feeling and Judging (FJ) types. Surprisingly, ISFJs also tend to have at least one Intuitive (N) friend in their inner circle, even though they may find it difficult to connect with them on a deeper level due to the Intuitive (N) / Observant (S) communication barrier. Still, ISFJs tend to drift toward other Sentinels (SJ) as these types are most likely to have a similar vision of the world.

ISFJ PARENTS

ISFJ parents are likely to be traditional, warm, and very responsible. Furthermore, people with this personality type are altruistic and supportive, which makes parenthood a natural and easy task for them. ISFJs will make sure that their children grow up in a safe, stable, and supportive environment, surrounded by love and care.

ISFJ personalities are patient and reliable, although their attention can sometimes be overbearing. They will work very hard to make sure that their children understand the importance of a strong value system, dedication, and responsibility. ISFJs are often seen as ideal parents, able and willing to cater to all their children’s needs.

That being said, ISFJ parents should make sure that their children do not take their dedication and care for granted. ISFJs are likely to be very uncomfortable if their child does not behave as expected, especially in a public place, and do their best to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Not surprisingly, the child is likely to notice this weakness very quickly, throwing tantrums whenever they do not get what they want (e.g., in a shopping center). ISFJ parents should try to overcome their discomfort in such situations and establish clear boundaries for their children.

ISFJ CAREERS

The list of typical ISFJ careers is probably the longest among all personality types—and for a very good reason. ISFJs tend to be very altruistic and well-rounded individuals, which usually makes them excellent employees. We will discuss some of their best careers below. Please feel free to leave a comment if you have any ideas or suggestions.

To begin with, ISFJs tend to be very adept at gathering and remembering various facts, especially about other people. This can be a great social skill in most career paths, especially where teamwork and cooperation are necessary. An ISFJ will always remember the name of their boss’ daughter or birthdays of most of their colleagues. Furthermore, ISFJs are very in-tune with other people’s emotions. Consequently, when it comes to choosing the best careers for an ISFJ, it can be said that they tend to be excellent counselors, administrative assistants, or managers.

ISFJ careers tend to progress quite smoothly as ISFJs are willing to put a lot of effort into making sure that the job gets done. They are very practical; however, this comes at a cost as ISFJs dislike theories, concepts, or abstract ideas. For this reason, ISFJs should avoid highly theoretical careers (e.g., academic research) and focus on “practical” ones. People with this personality type are at their best when it comes to implementing ideas and making things work. Some of the most typical ISFJ career paths utilize these traits; for instance, many ISFJs are found among interior designers, bookkeepers, economists, or office managers.

ISFJs are very service-oriented, warm, and traditional. They respect traditional values and security, which is usually reflected in ISFJ careers as well. It is not uncommon to see ISFJs involved in volunteering activities, community work, or childhood development initiatives. They also tend to be excellent nurses and social or religious workers—these career paths may also interest some ISFJs.

In general, two simple things tend to be very clearly expressed in most of the careers that ISFJs decide to take. First, they need to utilize their people-sensing skills as this is one of their most important and unique strengths. Second, ISFJs need to have an opportunity to “create order from chaos” as they usually possess truly extraordinary talents in this area. If these two conditions are met, that particular career path is probably a very good choice for an ISFJ.

ISFJ IN THE WORKPLACE

People with the ISFJ personality type are kind, service-oriented individuals, usually good at a variety of tasks. Their reliability and dedication in the workplace are well known, but what exactly are ISFJs like as colleagues, managers, and subordinates?

ISFJ COLLEAGUES

  • Prefer working in a close-knit team
  • Very supportive and altruistic
  • Naturally good at networking, but unlikely to use these skills to advance their career
  • Strongly dislike conflicts at work
  • Tend to see colleagues as personal friends
  • Always happy to help, but may often overload themselves

ISFJ MANAGERS

  • Very good at implementing ideas
  • Know how to listen to their subordinates
  • Traditional, may be slow to accept changes
  • Prefer horizontal hierarchies, may not actually enjoy managing others
  • Do their best to create a warm, conflict-free work environment
  • Dislike authoritarianism and try to forge personal relationships with their subordinates

ISFJ SUBORDINATES

  • Meticulous and very reliable
  • Very loyal, likely to try to follow their manager if they leave for another role
  • May understate their input and be less “visible” than their colleagues
  • Patient and committed
  • May be unwilling to advertise their achievements
  • Need to know that their input is valued

CONCLUSION

Few personality types are as practical and dedicated as ISFJs. Known for their reliability and altruism, ISFJs are good at creating and maintaining a secure and stable environment for themselves and their loved ones. ISFJs’ dedication is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.

Yet ISFJs can be easily tripped up in areas where their kindness and practical approach are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, learning to relax or improvise, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder, or managing their workload, ISFJs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.

What you have read so far is just an introduction into the complex concept that is the ISFJ personality type. You may have muttered to yourself, “wow, this is so accurate it’s a little creepy” or “finally, someone understands me!” You may have even asked “how do they know more about me than the people I’m closest to?”

This is not a trick. You felt understood because you were. We’ve studied how ISFJs think and what they need to reach their full potential. And no, we did not spy on you – many of the challenges you’ve faced and will face in the future have been overcome by other ISFJs. You simply need to learn how they succeeded.

But in order to do that, you need to have a plan, a personal roadmap. The best car in the world will not take you to the right place if you do not know where you want to go. We have told you how ISFJs tend to behave in certain circumstances and what their key strengths and weaknesses are. Now we need to go much deeper into your personality type and answer “why?”, “how?” and “what if?”

This knowledge is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. Are you ready to learn why ISFJs act in the way they do? What motivates and inspires you? What you are afraid of and what you secretly dream about? How you can unlock your true, exceptional potential?

Our premium profiles provide a roadmap towards a happier, more successful, and more versatile YOU! They are not for everyone though – you need to be willing and able to challenge yourself, to go beyond the obvious, to imagine and follow your own path instead of just going with the flow. If you want to take the reins into your own hands, we are here to help you.

Poetry…

“Write your name across my flesh in fingerprint bruises,
Whisper your name onto my lips with your mouth,
And I will still always want more.”

~Stormy Darling~

It’s alive…

The thought crossed my mind the other day and I have been pondering it ever since. Today has been 23 days since Sir gifted me with his collar. Over that period of time I have found my fingers straying to touch it in times of stress. It is like a touch stone for me. A tangible connection to Him. What struck me the most is that because it is stainless steel it picks up the warmth from my body and becomes quite warm to the touch…much like a living thing. Strange to think of an inanimate object as a living thing but it is true. O/our connection is alive. Energy flows back and forth between U/us even when W/we are far apart. His collar is just another link in that very real, living connection.

Just a thought.

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